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Steubenville: Humiliation Was The Point Of The Exercise

March 18, 2013
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One thing we say sometimes, those of us who talk about Yes Means Yes, and enthusiastic consent or affirmative consent, is who wants to have sex with someone who isn’t enthusiastically participating?  The implied answer is, “nobody!” 

But that’s not a complete answer.  The truth is that some people do want sex with someone who isn’t participating - who is actively resisting, or who is too out of it to respond.  And who those people are tell us a lot about rape and why it happens.  In particular, it tells us a lot about gang rape and why and how it happens. 

I’ve been struck by the similarities between this case and both the Glen Ridge, New Jersey rape in 1989 and the Haidl case in Corona Del Mar, California in 2002.  All three produced convictions, all three involved high school boys, several of them and one female victim, and all three involved extremely privileged boys — in Steubenville and Glen Ridge, football players, and in Corona Del Mar, a really rich local politico’s kid.

One other thing they have in common:  nothing about them seemed like they were oriented around physical sexual stimulation for the boys.  The key, driving dynamic was a shared group experience of sexual humiliation of the girl.

[Content note here -- graphic descriptions of three gang rapes]

Glen Ridge

In Glen Ridge, the girl was not drunk or passed out.  She was mentally handicapped, and she specifically had great difficulty saying no to people who said they were her friend; she had an overwhelming need to please.  So a boy she had known her whole life offered her a date with his brother, who she had a crush on, if she’d go down to the basement with them.  When she got there, the chairs were all arranged to watch a show.  And of the thirteen boys in that room, six very quickly decided that what was going on was wrong, and left.  Of the ones who stayed, four were convicted of sexual assault, and a trial of two others was cancelled because the first trial was so traumatic for the victim that the prosecution dropped the charges.

What did they do?  Did they all line up and put their penises in her and thrust to climax, like one would expect if they were primarily concerned with getting to orgasm?  No.  That’s not what they did.  They talked her into going down on one boy, but in the main, what they did was to stick things in her vagina, including a practice bat with a bag over it and a dirty stick.  It’s not clear to me from what I’ve read on it, which includes the best book on the subject, Our Guys, that any of them even ejaculated.

Then, they tried to get her to come back for a repeat performance.

It shouldn’t be terribly surprising, since when they were in their single digits, some of the same boys talked the same girl into eating dog shit.  Yeah, you read that right. They got the mentally disabled girl to eat dog shit, then a decade later, they raped her.  Who was surprised?

Corona Del Mar

She’ll tell you who she is now.  Her photo is in OC Weekly because she refuses to act as though she’s the one who should hide her face.  She’s done being humiliated by what they did, especially because humiliating her was the core of what they were after:

they threw her limp body on a pool table and, in a despicable coup de grâce, repeatedly shoved a Snapple bottle, apple-juice can, lit cigarette and a pool stick into her vagina and anus.

They filmed the whole thing, twenty-one minutes of video proving (to the satisfaction of the second jury, though somehow the first jury hung) that she was passed out cold, completely nonresponsive.  And then, the defense team sent investigators to school and put up flyers, trolling for dirt on her, in effect continuing the rapists’ work for months and years, through two trials, alleging that the whole thing was a porn film that she orchestrated.  The entire judicial process, both trials, were part and parcel of the assault on the victim’s dignity.

Steubenville

There was video of Trent Mays shoving his fingers in the victim in a car (before it was deleted).  There is a picture of both convicted defendants carrying her by hands and feet.  One defendant tried to put his penis in her mouth, but she was completely nonresponsive.  There is a picture of her completely out of it with what looks like ejaculate on her.  She had vomited on herself.  Nothing about this says, “hot and sexy” as those things are traditionally constructed.  What attracted them then was not the promise of sexual fulfillment, but the opportunity to humiliate a girl too drunk to defend herself.

Now, look at the infamous Nodianos video, where Steubenville alum Chris Nodianos holds forth for more than ten minutes on how “dead” she is and how much they “raped that girl.”  Here we have three gang sexual assaults in three states in three different decades by three different groups of entitled teen males, and in each, the sexual activity is mostly not things that can cause them to climax, but mostly things that make a spectacle of the humiliation of their helpless victim.

Looking back on it, here’s the awful conclusion: the social media blitz, and pictures, the video, the bragging, the guy who raised the idea of paying people to urinate on her — these were not byproducts of the exercise.  Humiliating her wasn’t something that happened because they raped her.  Humiliating her was the reason they raped her.  That was the exercise.  Humiliating her was the point of the whole thing. 

They didn’t get caught because there was an audience.  If they wanted to rape her in secret, they could have found a bedroom and locked the door.  They wanted to do it and celebrate it.  They wanted to put on a show.  They didn’t get caught because when they raped her there was an audience; they raped her because there was an audience.  The whole thing was for the attention.  They thought it was funny.  Nodianos could barely contain his laughter, and his glee, and he wanted everyone who saw that video to laugh along with him, laugh at the helpless victim and how completely she had been mistreated.

Who and Why

Gang rapes need ring leaders.  There are a lot of people who will go along with a lot of really wrong stuff in the right circumstances, as the world learned from Milgram Experiment.  But a bunch of people who go along will not start a gang rape.  There has to be at least one or more who really, really want it to happen.  For example, in Glen Ridge, Chris Archer was the one who talked her into that basement.  He was the brightest of the bunch, the only really good student.  And there is some evidence that he had sexually molested her on other occasions.  And according to Lefkowitz’s book, he sexually assaulted another women between his arrest and the trial and she swore to it in an affidavit for prosecutors, though the jurors never heard that.  There are a lot of unanswered questions about Steubenville, and there have been allegations about the involvement of at least two of the witnesses who were immunized in exchange for testimony; I think I’ll wait to see the book-length treatments of this one before I draw a conclusion about ringleaders.  I already have my suspicions.

Deliberate humiliation for the sake of spectacle, orchestrated by a guy who is really invested in making it happen, bringing the followers along with him down the road to depravity, not getting off on the sexual aspect so much as using the sexual aspect to get off on the victimization.  That’s the grim reality of what happens, what these gang rapes by privileged man-children look like up close.  It’s not succumbing to the urge to be sexual.  It’s a ritual degradation. 

(It’s “We saw your boobs” drawn to its logical conclusion.  Rape culture has its towering peaks, and its little foothills.)

Now think about this and the media narratives about boys, drinking, temptation and bright futures.  Think about the kind of man or boy who goes out of his way to create a tableau of degrading and sexually victimizing a helpless girl, not to get off, but because it’s funny, it’s just so funny, it’s just hilarious, side-splitting, riotous fun to sexually assault the passed out girl, the stumbling drunk girl, the girl with the cognitive powers of a second grader.  That guy … that’s not a nice young man who gave into temptation.  That guy is an overgrown crab louse on Seth MacFarlane’s ball sack, perhaps so much that even MacFarlane himself would shiver and say, “dude, that’s not funny, she’s a human being.”

And that guy will make someone, somewhere very miserable so he can laugh.  He’ll do it, and he’ll get as many people as he can to go along with him as far as he can, and he’ll act like it’s normal and he’ll try to get you to do the same.  And he’ll keep doing it until someone makes him stop.

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48 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2013 5:00 pm

    I certainly know that saying “no” and “you are raping me” while being raped does not necessarily have any impact… Heck I know a guy who proposed marriage several times to a woman who said the above during their one and only date & “sexual encounter.”

  2. BertieW permalink
    March 18, 2013 7:34 pm

    Reading this made my blood run cold. Is it possible the ring leader wasn’t one of the guys convicted and is still out there free to do this again?

    • March 21, 2013 2:41 pm

      The head coach is sure roaming around free. The boys sure thought he had their back and I’m sure he was a big influence in their attitudes and viewpoint.

  3. March 18, 2013 9:33 pm

    This was a hard read, but it’s right – and I’m sharing the message as widely as I can.

  4. March 19, 2013 2:59 am

    From Steubenville: “She was not talking, she was not moving, she was not participating” That was me 51 years ago. I’d been drugged big time. There were other victims. The perpetraters were people I knew — all from the same fraternity, and the type of men your parents would deem trustworthty. Victims were treated like raw meat. In my case, they rubbed sperm on my face and hair. I can’t remember them urinating on me, but that would explain the moisture all over my body the next morning. I was also penetrated with a foreign object. I later found frat symbols drawn on the inside of my thigh. Drinking was not an issue. My drink was drugged, so it only took a sip. Whether it be a pack of ball players or frat brothers, please beware of men who travel in packs. Rape is never your fault, but why get rip-roaring drunk around a bunch of animals who are potentially lethal.

    Yes, a gang rape needs a leader who can orchestrate the most degrading humiliation a woman will ever experience. I described my experience in a blog —- now removed.

    I wish I could contact the owner of this site.

    • March 19, 2013 1:45 pm

      Georgia – so sorry you had that hideous experience. Sending you all the good stuff for a happy and peaceful future

  5. shannon stoney permalink
    March 19, 2013 7:47 am

    I like this blog, but you need to use spell check.

    • March 19, 2013 9:02 am

      I have corrected some errors in both of yesterday’s posts, thanks.

  6. Ann permalink
    March 19, 2013 6:10 pm

    Really incisive, chilling piece.

    I remember in the first coverage I read of Steubenville, they mentioned the victim went to a different school, lived across the state line perhaps? And I remember that the Corona Del Mar victim was not quite from their normal social group either? I wonder if the ability to “other” the victim, because she is actually an outsider, or poorer, or mentally disabled, helps the followers go along, and the bystanders stand by. Not that I don’t believe this couldn’t — and doesn’t — happen to girls and women whose only outgroup characteristic is gender — but a possible factor here.

  7. March 19, 2013 7:35 pm

    It is scary how often we–society–find excuses for the one incident that gets them caught and miss the pattern of behaviour. Thank you for articulating it so well.

  8. Meg permalink
    March 20, 2013 4:06 am

    When I was hearing about the Steubenville sexual assault case, I was thinking of its similarities to the murder of Pamela George, an aboriginal woman working as a prostitute in Regina and who was beaten to death by two wealthy, young university athletes. Sherene Razack does an great job at demonstrating how Pamela George was deemed responsible for her death and how the court’s (and the community’s) sympathy, despite a guilty sentence, lay largely with the white men. Her section on “The Making of White Men” (with an analysis on masculinity and sports culture as well) has striking parallels to these cases.

    http://web.uvic.ca/~ayh/104%20Razack%20WS104.PDF

  9. jools permalink
    March 20, 2013 11:26 am

    Not one single mention of pornography? Really?

    • March 20, 2013 12:05 pm

      First, I don’t think we have a factual record about the Steubenville defendants’ use of porn. Hopefully we’ll learn more. I know that the Glen Ridge rapists all watched porn together regularly in the very basement where the assault took place. And I think we know that the Haidl defendants were also heavy porn watchers, but I’m not 100% sure of that. However, the dynamics of privileged boys and group humiliation track what Georgia tells us about the attack on her, and that was in the era when there was no mainstream porn industry in the US and they probably had no ability to communally watch porn, and whatever they could get their hands on was much less explicit than what was available at the time of Steubenville or at the time of Corona Del Mar.

      Second, it’s hard to place the causation arrow. There has been a lot of research regarding porn and violence. It has been more successful in showing correlations to attitudes than to conduct, and it has been much more successful in showing correlations between rape-supportive attitudes and porn use than causation. Further, as porn has gone from clandestined and rare to ubiquitous in two generations, one would expect to see, if the relationship was causal, that rates of rape have also exploded in that time. But I think we’re still around where we were when Koss’s figures became popular in Warshaw’s book, I Never Called It Rape. Those are 1980s stats, and they track the victim report surveys that NIJ does, and roughly track for thirty years, so we maddeningly have no less rape than thirty years ago, but we don’t seem to have more.

      There are radfems who still repeat formulaic assertions that porn causes rape, but the porn- and sex work abolitionist movement is increasingly a subculture of transphobes making common cause with cultural conservatives, but the church of Shiela Jeffreys and Shelley Lubben doesn’t have a place on this blog.

      • seebster permalink
        March 21, 2013 5:19 pm

        THEY MADE HER INTO PORN. How did you not get this obvious connection? This is what porn is. This is not commercial porn, true, but this is traditional porn.
        This is what porn is. Porn is what this is. Cause/effect? NO. One and the same.
        Yes, it makes us horrified when consent is obviously compromised. It is particularly reprehensible because she is under the age of consent even if she were sober, and we have laws against child porn. We would have liked it better if she was somehow made to smile.
        The end result, however, is ritualized degradation displayed for an audience, a graphic display of men’s definition of woman-as-whore. Pornography.

  10. AMM permalink
    March 20, 2013 6:46 pm

    I think it goes beyond a few people wanting to “have sex with” someone who doesn’t want to. I think it lies at the heart of masculine culture, a lot like My Lai or Abu Ghraib. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it was the start football players who did it.

    In my view, in Western culture, masculinity is in essence about participating in social structures based on oppressor-oppressee or domination and submission dynamics. In particular, it’s about training boys and men to see life as a pecking order, where it’s always better to be the pecker (pun intended) rather than the peckee. That’s why organized sports and especially football are so important in USA communities. They teach that life is a constant struggle to be the one that grinds the other guy’s face into the mud, rather than having one’s own face ground into the mud.

    Gang rapes, which is what your examples are, support this culture by giving members of the oppressor class a sort of holiday from the daily grind of trying to dominate one another without setting aside the oppressor-oppressee dynamic. In a gang rape, they can join together in degrading and abusing (i.e., dominating) a member of the designated oppressee class. And after all, being used and abused is what women are for, according to mainstream society (cf. Sandy Posey’s song.)

    This explains why even those men who might not want to initiate this kind of abuse will go along with it or at least not see anything wrong with it, and why even when women are present, they often don’t take it seriously. And it explains why communities will go to ridiculous lengths to deny it when it happens. At some level, they know that rape and gang rape are inevitable consequences of the masculine culture (the way CO2 is a consequence of wood stoves), and since they are partisans of masculine culture, but have to at least appear to disapprove of rape, they have to pretend it wasn’t rape, or didn’t count.

    TL;DR version: rape culture is an essential part of the cult of masculinity.

    • March 21, 2013 3:36 am

      “….. even when women are present, they often don’t take it seriously.” Oh my god, that describes how I was at one time. One of the reasons I didn’t take it seriously was because [to me] nothing could have been more absurd than a bunch of men raping a woman. The guy who talked about it HAD to be kidding.

    • Ben permalink
      March 21, 2013 11:28 am

      Wow AMM. Just wow.

      The next time I need an example of a man-hating feminist, I’ll be sure to quote you. (Like never).

      “I think it lies at the heart of masculine culture, a lot like My Lai or Abu Ghraib”

      “[I]n Western culture, masculinity is in essence about participating in social structures based on oppressor-oppressee”

      “Rape culture is an essential part of … masculinity”.

      *facepalm* Nice job imagining males as fully human with a gender identity worthy of respect and inclusion. It makes us so much more eager to step away from the power structures we’ve inherited when we know that “respect” and “power” aren’t bizarre zero-sum games where we have to lose them in order for the ladyfolk to gain them.

      • malana permalink
        March 21, 2013 12:31 pm

        Ben, there’s a difference between “men” and “masculine culture.” AMM is talking about masculine culture. You can criticize the culture without hating men. But if you want an excuse to feel oppressed so you don’t have to look in the mirror when we talk about patriarchy, by all means.

      • Ben permalink
        March 21, 2013 2:15 pm

        malana:
        I am not oppressed. I am celebrated. I am tallwhitethinstraightmale; I am cis-collegegrad-wealthy1percent-ablebodied-goodlooking; I carry an American passport; I am right-handed.

        I do feel that ‘patriarchy’ is a much more appropriate word to use in place of ‘masculinity’ in this context. I am my own kind of feminist, by the way, one who feels that the goal of feminism is to treat women with the respect that men already have, rather than to treat men with the disdain heretofore reserved for women.

        I am not trying to deny patriarchy, or the dominant role masculinity has in our culture, or denying the importance of cultural criticism. But I am suggesting to you (and AMM) to consider the tone and wording of your criticism. When AMM says things like “gang rape [is the] inevitable consequences of … masculine culture” (imho) I think a word or two which makes the distinction between “men” and “masculine culture” explicit would be helpful in keeping more men in the conversation.

      • AMM permalink
        March 22, 2013 6:37 am

        When someone calls me a “man-hating feminist”, I know I must somehow have gotten uncomfortably close to a truth.

        As for being “inclusive:” _if_ your “gender identity” is based on values and behaviors and attitudes whose expression inevitably ends up producing abominations like Abu Ghraib and the Steubenville rapes — i.e., the values, etc., that I call “masculine culture” — _then_, no I don’t want to be “inclusive” of you, any more than I want to be “inclusive” of Joe Paterno and Jerry Sandusky or of Rush Limbaugh. I cannot change the fact that I share some anatomical features and (I presume) a chromosome pattern with them, but I draw the line at sharing an “identity.”

        You _do_ have a choice, you know, just like you have a choice whether to take that next drink. You can take the red pill[*], and get jolted daily by the discovery of this or that bit of masculine/rape/oppressor culture inside you and having to decide whether you are going to continue to identify with it. Or you can take the blue pill, remain immersed in your dude-bro identity, and go on with life in blissfull unconsciousness, like 90% of the guys out there.

        [*] But you have to take it every day :(

      • Ben permalink
        March 22, 2013 8:36 am

        PART ONE: The apology
        I should have followed Jay Smooth’s advice on criticizing: focus on the behavior (or the words) not the person (or intent). He gave it in the context of racism, but it applies in lots of spaces.

        Here it is, in his own words. It’s totally worth watching. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=b0Ti-gkJiXc

        So, first off, a proper apology with:
        1) Identifying the fault
        2) Accepting responsibility
        3) Explaining the cause (which does not justify the act)
        4) Expression of Forbearance

        1) AMM, I should not have been ambiguously implying that you are a “man-hating feminist”. Not only do I not know enough about you to make that statement, it is an inflammatory accusation to make of a person. It has often been used deliberately to exclude women’s voices on important public issues.

        2) Those words are mine, and the consequences are my responsibility. That includes (possibly) hurting your feelings and/or pissing you off. You should not have to suffer the indignity of name calling, regardless of the strength of your character. Also, I recognize that these words do act as an exclusive force for the women reading this who identify with you, but may not wish to subject themselves to these kinds of words from people (unlike me!) who actually mean them to hurt.

        3) My intent was to challenge you to consider two different things. Firstly, that the tone and choice of words you used may not be the best way to be inclusive of the men in your audience. Secondly, I did want you to consider whether you are too suspicious and angry towards men. I may not know you well enough to make a judgement on that myself, but you ought to ‘know thyself’.

        4) With that apology fully in mind, I promise to avoid name-calling, and when I do use name-calling phrases, I will not direct them at individuals, only words and actions. I feel regret that you thought even for one moment that I was calling you a “MHF”, even if I did not actually ‘hurt your feelings’ or ‘piss you off’.

        PART TWO: The Questions
        Do you accept this apology?
        Will you consider responding to my intentions, rather than the awkward way I worded them? Namely do you still stand by your wording as both accurate and inclusive?

        Even after my apology, I do not think that you will convince most (90% by your count!) men by attacking something with the name “masculine culture” even if you only mean to refer to the negative aspects of it, especially if you equate it with values that make “rape and gang rape … inevitable consequences” It is a phrase too easily interpreted as simply being male, in my opinion. Because even 15 year-old males can be taught how not to rape*. It is not /inevitable/.

        Looking for less inflammatory ways of putting your points does not need to be less passionate or even less cathartic. Ultimately I believe it will even be /more/ effective.

        Anyway, thanks for the thoughtful engagement.

        —–
        * http://accidentaldevotional.com/2013/03/19/the-day-i-taught-how-not-to-rape/

  11. MDavis permalink
    March 21, 2013 2:39 am

    Your post is absolutely right — thank you for expressing it so well.

    I think an additional problem is that many young men now learn about sex from internet porn – and there’s quite a lot of porn where “hot sex” involves the humilation of women (ordering her onto her knees, calling her a bitch, ejaculating on her face, slapping her face, or having women perform fellatio after anal penetration – a sexual act that is actually dangerous to the woman’s health). These images normalize the idea that sex and humiliation-of-women go hand in hand…and while that’s bad enough, it’s only a short step from there to humiliation being the entire point of the exercise.

    How on earth do we change “rape culture” when hard core porn (rather than mutually satisfying sex with another human being who is your equal, not your objectified plaything or seductress) is increasingly the first experience of sexuality that young men have?

    • March 22, 2013 6:11 am

      It’s tough, but I think adults in our society have to get over their own embarrassment, and approach their kids with an honest and open outlook when it comes to sex, and porn. We need to start making it clear to kids (young kids – I saw internet porn for the first time at age nine! And that was in the 90’s!) that sex and porn are not the same – that performing a sexual act, and *enjoying* a sexual act are two very different things. I remember my parents telling me I couldn’t watch porn, after searching the computer history, but they never gave me an explanation for what I had seen, nor why I shouldn’t be watching it at such an impressionable age. I came away from that feeling ashamed, but having no idea why I felt that way.

      It’s also about letting young women know that they do not have to perform like porn stars to get or keep men’s attentions. Designating the line between pleasure for both, and pleasure for one. A lot of the porn that’s readily available online does have a very violent twist to it, like the examples you described, and by not making it clear to young men (and women) that porn is separate from sex – it is a Performance, where people are being paid to Act – whereas enjoying yourself with a consenting partner is special, and important to understand and respect the complexities of.

      Basically, sex ed at a younger age, and more comprehensive at that. Sex ed for the 21st century, with the knowledge that kids Will look at things they shouldn’t, but because we understand the context as adults, we have the responsibility to explain as much to them, so they aren’t stuck with entirely barbaric or misogynistic notions of what sex is/should be.

    • Kelly permalink
      March 24, 2013 2:29 am

      Its not even just in porn – look at mainstream movies and TV shows where there are two romantic leads that aren’t together yet. When there’s the dramatic moment where they finally kiss and release their passions, watch how the man often treats the woman – he’ll throw her down on the bed, push her up against the wall, tear off her clothes. Sex is intricately linked to violence these days, and it’s everywhere. We send boys the message from an early age that what manly men do, what the sexy thing is to do, what girls really want you to do is treat their bodies like disposable objects.

  12. Rachel permalink
    March 23, 2013 1:05 pm

    Excellent analysis. Thank you.

  13. June 6, 2014 11:30 am

    Excellent article. A crucial step in stopping the ongoing sexual violence epidemic is often ignored: breaking down the real cause.

    It’s still commonly believed that men are testosterone-induced neanderthals who will go to great lengths to get off – even if it means attempting manipulation or force – and that women should accept this trait and live in fear of men.
    This belief system won’t solve a thing and will encourage rape culture to run rampant.

    In reality, rape is used as a way to humiliate, seek revenge or degrade. Rape is more often perpetrated by men onto females but it happens both ways, and with every combination in between. Based on our twisted system, if females are too ashamed to report it, imagine how ashamed males could be, especially considering the fact that male-to-male attacks could suggest homosexuality and that female-to-male attacks could suggest physical oppression of the gender that is traditionally viewed as the physical oppressor.

    Firstly, it’s not males as a whole who are at fault. Most men find rape just as horrifying as women do. However, it’s ingrained in males from an early age, to see females as inferior. Boys are told to “man up” when they do something wrong, or are called “pussies” when they can’t do something as well. They’re subjected to vast amounts of sexism through media/movies/ads, etc, and even by leaned behaviour of parents. Mainstream sports are usually male dominated and females are often only there to act as support (ie the scantily clad cheerleader or the woman singing the anthem). Movies depict women as victims, so easy to toss around and so incapable of self defense, while men fall out of burning buildings without getting hurt. Ads suggest men buying the right things or drinking the right booze to score trashy, easy-looking women. I could go on for ages about this.

    On the flip side, girls see the same crap and start believing that it’s ok or even normal to be a victim, and they start acting accordingly. They take interest in trying to look like the doctored images they see everywhere, rather than being smart or capable. Their self worth plummets. And as they grow up, they learn to fear men yet cheapen themselves to impress them because that’s what they see. Girls aren’t encouraged to fight unless it’s a self-defense class, which further instills the victim mentality. No wonder women lack confidence. And men lack it too, because they’re continuously pushed into this machisimo mentality.

    Facts: most rape victims are either made vulnerable or are vulnerable to begin with (or both). A huge percentage are under the age of 20. At that age, people are more easily manipulated, less developed, and less likely to report, especially if threatened. Another large percentage are prostitutes or strippers. These people are automatic targets because in the mind of a rapist, they already, by choice of occupation, have validated that they are sexual objects, and there to be used. If a person believes herself to be sexual prey, she’ll be more likely to comply and less likely to fight back or report. Slut shaming is terrible, but we need to look at why some women cheapen themselves in the first place. Rapists aren’t looking for a challenge. Then we need to take into account the number of victims who are mentally handicapped, unstable or outcast. Easy targets because they’re already shamed by society. They aren’t taken seriously. And that just covers those who may be raped while sober. The vast number of drugged or drunk cases is staggering.

    So what’s my point? Instead of demonizing gender, let’s look at our social views and how to break those. Start raising girls to be strong and self sufficient, and raising boys to be the same, but without the bravado bullshit attached. Porn and football shouldn’t be looked at as the norm for men, nor should pole dancing and makeup classes for women. Not knocking makeup or sports when used in context.

    Ok, novel complete. I really support the author of this article and I believe that more information like this will help educate the masses, which are the biggest voice if spoken loudly enough.

  14. Redpeachmoon permalink
    June 30, 2014 7:44 am

    Excellent and chilling article. The humiliation aspect IS important.
    Thank you.
    To paraphrase commenter Ben, ‘ blah blah blah blah NOT ALL MEN’

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