Fraternity Roofie Conspiracy
In some corners of the rape denial universe it is popular to say that this doesn’t happen, that all reports of drugged drinks are merely voluntary overconsumption. There are two kinds of people who say that: (1) those who have chosen to believe it, because they don’t believe anything women say anyway and because it’s convenient for them to believe it; and (2) those who know first-hand that it isn’t true, but want to protect those who deliberately and involuntarily intoxicate others.
When people say, “rape culture,” some people say that there isn’t one. Even some people who should know better say that. Everyone agrees that rape is bad, right? But they don’t. In the comments and threats that assail women who speak out about rape on the internet, when the trolls know people are unlikely to uncover their identities, they say what they really think. They approve of rape.
These allegations admit of no possibility of accident or miscommunication. Instead, this required a conspiracy of the bartender and the doorman, at a minimum, and probably at least the silent complicity of several members. Someone said, “let’s roofie a bunch of girls …” and someone else thought it was a great idea. As it became clear that someone wasn’t joking, but was actually planning and preparing, nobody, nobody, said, “no, actually that would be a felony and we cannot do that.” If you want to know what “rape culture” is, it’s a culture where someone could raise this idea and instead of a chill falling over the whole room, the other people either strain to pretend it’s a joke or gleefully join in. If you want to know what “social license to operate” is it’s that the idea that women at fraternity parties are targets to be intoxicated and sexually molested is so powerful that the guy that thought this up not only had friends willing to defend his idea, they agreed to help, and they believed that they would get away with it.
As a general moral proposition, to hell with loyalty. If you are ever so loyal to any person that, when that person says, “let’s rape someone,” it even occurs to you that going along with it is a viable option, your moral compass is shot and you need to cut all ties with every single person you know, pack up and walk as far as you can get into the most desolate wilderness until the ruinous effects of your social environment wear off and you once again develop the ability to hear your conscience. You. If you’re reading this now, and you’re thinking, “well, I don’t know, I might …” Stop. Stop, turn off the computer, and pick a spot on the map where nobody is, and go there. Until you do, you’re a danger to us all.
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This is a GREAT post Thomas.
I feel ill to think that we are actively fostering our sons to view women as toys and rape as a joke, and that we are creating (learning!) environments where rape culture not only survives but thrives and multiplies.
The same frat had 3 sexual assault charges last year, which were dropped. These boys will not stop because they do not need to – no conscience, no repurcussions, and still the girls keep coming to the parties and drinking the drinks. The boys rely on the victims feeling so much shame and/ or wanting to forget it so word does not get round. Every year ‘fresh meat’ of new students. Things are bad in UK universities, but I have to say the stuff I read about US ones is REALLY shocking.
I knew someone who drank a spiked drink in a nightclub. She was sitting on her own because her bf was working in the club. Only the fact that she knew the bartender etc saved her from whoever it was making their move. Her bf found her completely different when they went home, and then she remembered nothing at all.
I saw a part of a US horror film where a strange zombie type woman is found chained up in an abandoned building – by teen males. Of course NONE of these boys experience any conscience or compassion, she is left chained up and they abuse her continually, finding that she doesn’t die, and seeing this as the go ahead for more abuse. I had to stop watching because it portrayed an entire community of teen boys being sadistic rapists and potential murderers. I suppose the makers of the film might argue that it is an extreme form of social comment. but actually, reading your post, and other accounts of drugged assault and rape, it does not seem so extreme after all.
BTW, Rohypnol is commonly found on sites that sell body building drugs (steroids and the like), which is a dead giveaway as to mindset – hyper masculinity and rape – who would have thought it!
Blogged about this here.
I also posted it to a fairly high traffic forum (MyMedia.com), with little expectation that people will comment. It’s so sad, how very few people are willing to examine, let alone challenge, their preconceptions of reality and society.
Reblogged this on Christine Rose and commented:
This is so very prevalent.
Are you the person who will speak up against this, or will you pretend it’s a joke?
More excerpts:
“When people say, “rape culture,” some people say that there isn’t one. Even some people who should know better say that. Everyone agrees that rape is bad, right? But they don’t. In the comments and threats that assail women who speak out about rape on the internet, when the trolls know people are unlikely to uncover their identities, they say what they really think. They approve of rape…
…If you want to know what “rape culture” is, it’s a culture where someone could raise this idea and instead of a chill falling over the whole room, the other people either strain to pretend it’s a joke or gleefully join in. If you want to know what “social license to operate” is it’s that the idea that women at fraternity parties are targets to be intoxicated and sexually molested is so powerful that the guy that thought this up not only had friends willing to defend his idea, they agreed to help, and they believed that they would get away with it.”
Please read the entire post.
I find the first paragraph interesting as in my experience a distinction is made between drug spiked drinks and assailants utilising alcohol to incapacitate. The former is seen as ‘real rape’ while the latter still seems to be not taken seriously. Maybe this is a difference between the UK and the US.
I stumbled on this site just about two hours ago and have been jumping from post to post, following links to other sites and back and just drinking it all in. I have experienced a whole range emotions in the past little while. I was shocked and horrified at some of these stories and saddened by others but i was also angry.
I am a man. I have never raped or attempted to rape a woman and I don’t condone rape at all. I only know one woman who has been raped though statistically I probably know many more. From what I read here (I’m Canadian and apart from blind national pride there is no reason to think our numbers are any better though if you know where I can find Canadian data i would be much obliged) I could know tens of rape victims. I still tear up when I remember her pouring her heart out to me. She was so matter of fact about her pain, and resigned as if it was her fate, it was heart-breaking and I felt so helpless to do anything to help.
I mentioned this because the anger i felt wasn’t at the rapists or those that turned a blind eye. I was angry at this site. I was angry because i felt like i was under attack.
Its weird,but every mention of rape culture and men’s (and by extension my) role in perpetuating it just got my back up. I wanted to shoot down some of the arguments I’ve read here. I wanted to find some proof that it isn’t as bad as this blog says. As a man I didn’t want to believe that there could be even a percentage point of my gender that would rape someone.
I didn’t want to believe that things could be that bad because the actions of men reflect on me as a man. I got angry at the term rape culture because I felt like it was blaming me for perpetuating a cycle of violence that as I have said upsets me to the point of tears when I think about it happening. How dare they associate me with people who are obviously monsters.
But I started thinking. It is in the news all the time. It seems like every other story about India is another one about rape. I just read a story about how the University of Ottawa’s hockey team is still banned from the league because of sex assault allegations. I remembered a night almost ten years ago where a friend of a friend complained about how he got jailed on a rape charge just because he was in the room where it happened. I remembered in high school over hearing a guy talking to his buddy about his up coming court date for his statutory rape charge. His friend asked, “But she was into it right?” “Yeah, totally!” was the response.
. Then I got to the meet the predators article. After learning how many rapists are willing to self identify something clicked. I realized that many rapists, or at least those who have no qualms about admitting to rape to random strangers doing a study, don’t think they are doing anything wrong. It boggles the mind to think about how many guys can see taking advantage of women who are drunk/drugged as a normal way of hooking up. Or that a woman owes them sex as payment for drinks. Even crazier are the even larger number of people who can just ignore it, or turn a blind eye or rationalize it or just flat out don’t care. That doesn’t even count the ones who blame the victim.
I understand rape culture now. It is the man who doesn’t believe that raping women is wrong. It is the man who thinks sex is his right. It is the man who doesn’t believe that woman can be raped or only in the most extreme cases. It is the man who blames the victim, the one who walks out of the room when he sees a rape in progress so he can say he wasn’t there. The man who lets his own desire for sex override that voice in his head that says, “she might not of said no but I don’t think she really wants to.” It is the people that tell the victim not to make a fuss or that no one will believe her.
What rape culture isn’t though is me. I’m not threatened by the term anymore. I still think it is a bit inflammatory but it really kinda has to be. Some people need to be shocked awake. It took me awhile to really understand and I consider myself a pretty open person. I wanted to write this so maybe it would help others like me (and I see them in some of the comments) understand.I think some of them are defensive because they feel under attack. It causes them to miss the point and try to rationalize things or say there are different degrees of rape.. Bottom line, one rape case is one too many, If a woman doesn’t want sex, it is rape. And rape is wrong. Period.
For my part my eyes are opened. I honestly don’t really know what to do from here, but one thing for sure is that I will make a conscious effort to call out rape culture when I see it, Naivete is one thing but willful ignorance would make me a monster.
Sorry for the long post. I think I needed to write it more than anyone else needs to read it