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Mama’s Boy

February 5, 2010

MRAs and other antifeminists so often accuse feminist men of hating men, and hating themselves. It’s not true, of course, except perhaps in isolated cases. Mostly, we just hate an unjust system that everyone is stuck in. But it helps every once in a while for us to point out the men we like.

There’s a lot of coverage, in the run up to the Superbowl this weekend, of Saints linebacker Scott Fujita.

Fifteen years ago I followed the NFL closely, and would have known exactly who he was even if his team did not make the Superbowl. But I’ve been busy practicing law and raising children and such, so I just started reading about him today. There’s a lot about this guy I identify with.

He’s vocal in supporting LGBT rights including marriage equality and adoption, even though his teammates call him “pinko communist fag from Berkeley.” (Which reminds me of the couple of years in high school when I wore a silver fairy as a lapel pin on my denim jacket just to poke at people’s gender and orientation insecurities.) He’s vocally pro-choice. And he cites his mother as one of his biggest influences. Fujita was adopted by a Japanese-American father and a white mother, and they raised him to be the successful, smart, eloquent man that he is. My mother raised me to be the man I am, and ten years after her death she remains in many ways my feminist and progressive role model.

(I also note that Fujita proudly claims his Japanese heritage. He has no known genetic connection to Japan, but he was raised with his father’s and grandparents’ culture. That means something to me. Though I do have the same genes as my Scottish ancestors, that’s not why I’m a Scot. I’m a Scot because the culture was passed down to me, as my heritage, through my family.)

Fujita takes a stand for what he believes in, in part because he has the next generation to worry about. He’s married to a woman, and they are raising twin girls. As the father of a daughter, he and I obviously see a lot of things the same way, and probably for a lot of the same reasons.

So, all you MRAs out there, I don’t hate men. I expect a lot out of men. I expect them to be men like Scott Fujita.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Wendell permalink
    February 5, 2010 12:44 pm

    Can’t say I follow American football, but this one has now become doubly cool–NOLA could get a boost in spirits, and Fujita could get some limelight.😀

  2. Ruthie G permalink
    February 6, 2010 5:51 am

    I can’t put into words what I think about this guy. Extreme admeration I guess. It seems to me guys (at least at my school) definitely are expected to not care about things like people’s rights more than girls. And if it happens to be a minority group, well you get the picture.

    Kinda like the fairy thing (although just how much of it was making a point I’m not sure) one of my male friends recently shaved his legs and told people about it. All of the comments were along the lines of “ok then…wait! What?!? EW!”

  3. chrematisai permalink
    February 8, 2010 8:36 pm

    That is a huge part of feminism — expecting more from men. MRA’s often accuse feminists of being man-haters, which is patently untrue.

    Also, I don’t follow football at all, but it makes me smile that there is at least one progressive man in the NFL. Not where you’d expect it🙂

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