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Abstinence Counselor Rapes Girl

May 13, 2009

I’m sure the irony escapes him.

In my YMY essay, Towards A Performance Model of Sex, I said that pro-abstinence moralism and patriarchal objectification are simply two sides of the same coin, both proceeding from the notion that a woman’s sexuality is a commodity. I think this rapist is that belief system made manifest. What he’s done is in a sense hypocrisy, but there is a core consistency. He’s urging young women to say no. He’ll keep telling them to say no, while he sexually molests them. He may even see nothing wrong with his behavior (commodity model thinking, though, is that he’s committed basically a property crime by taking something — not her autonomy or human rights, but her “virtue” — and in the most patriarchal incarnations, taken something from her father or future husband — pardon my while I scrub my brain); and he is probably very upset by any woman’s display of actual sexual agency.

Say no; get raped. As long as women have no voice in how their bodies are sexual, he’s happy.

h/t Abyss2hope in comments here.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. PatriarchySlayer permalink
    May 20, 2009 1:30 am

    This disturbs me. I realize and agree with the post in the sense of women’s sexuality being viewed as a commodity. But really! This to me is right up there with other abuses of power, like teachers and pastors, only the sense of irony is incredible. It would be like a rape self-defense instructor raping one of his students/clients. What the hell?

  2. defenestrated permalink
    January 10, 2010 10:31 pm

    It strikes me that his position as an abstinence-only counselor may well have helped this guy ignore his victim’s refusal and resistance.

    If good girls always say no, then ‘no’ is a meaningless word that girls just say in order to sound ‘good,’ and is *meant* to be ignored (in the potential rapist’s mindset, I mean). ‘Yes’ is an unacceptable response within that paradigm anyway, so what use is it to require consent from one’s partner/target? A similarly troublesome aspect to standard ideas of “seduction” has been posted on here before.

    • Libro Ballante permalink
      April 11, 2012 5:35 pm

      The thing that sucks about the “traditional model”, even if we modify it to be “modern” by replacing “no means try harder, boys” with “no means no”: if we grant that “nice girls say no,” and “nice boys don’t press”, then nice people don’t get to have sex, and if sex is happening then at least one person is behaving badly from that very fact. So this makes any sex at all transgressive, which is, of course, the underlying reason for “nice girls say no”. And if sex is transgressive, it has to be secret, and dangerous, and the province of untrustworthy “bad boys” and the “self-respectless” girls that let them get away with it.


  1. Abstinence Counselor Charged With Sexual Assault of Student : The Curvature

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