I’m really just posting this because it’s hilarious. But because I am who I am, I cannot resist making a serious comment. Shame breeds euphemism and ellipsis. Where we’re too red-faced to be explicit, we hem and haw, we wink and nod, we hope our partners get it. That’s not the way to get the point across. We end up here:
The whole idea, BTW, of “counting” is something I take issue with.
Like the wise and well-inked Kendall McKenzie said in Sadie Magazine, better we all work on tools for saying it. That is, in fact, the entire thesis of Rachel Kramer Bussel’s YMY essay, “Beyond Yes or No: Consent as Sexual Process.” She said it better than I can:
Admitting and claiming what we want in bed is not necessarily an easy task. Neither is asking your partners what they want. But it’s worth it. Because you gain a fuller understanding of what they’re thinking about you, themselves and your sex life.
YMY at p. 51.