Ottaviano, Maa and the Post
The Post, a rag so bad I warn my friends that reading it kills brain cells, predictably takes the nasty sensationalist angle:
His secret leather-loving lifestyle – seen on photos posted on fetish Web sites – turned out to be his downfall.
Wrong. Here’s the story: stalker client kidnaps a pro-dom, kills her boyfriend, then himself. Neither his, nor her, “secret leather-loving lifestyle” killed or harmed them. A violent, entitled, bitter nut did that. (And why was their “leather-loving lifestyle” “secret”? There were apparently pics of him, in drag, at clubs, with his partner, who worked as a professional dominant. Some secret.)
Two BDSMers, both bright people with lives and friends, went through hell; one is dead, and all because some guy thought he was entitled to have a woman all to himself like property. But that’s not news. That’s the same old story.
I didn’t know any of these people. But their purpose in life was not to act as cautionary tales or sell papers. My heart goes out to Maa, for all she’s been through, and I’m sorry for her loss. And my heart goes out to Ottaviano’s friends and family and his colleagues at Paul Weiss.
The sensationalist coverage isn’t just turning BDSM into a vector for violent death. It’s providing misinformation about what this kind of abuse is and how it works.
Yes. This is about violent, abusive men stalking women. The BDSM and sex work aspects are worse than a sideshow. They are a distraction form an important story.